We’ve made it to the holidays! The Chicago Bulls have been awfully naughty and not very nice over the past twelve months, but let’s make them a wish list anyway.
There are so many things the Bulls could wish for: A time machine, Michael Jordan staying 31 years old forever, Stacey King to accidentally lock himself out of the building before every broadcast, Kirk Hinrich to text them so that they can offer him dual duties as President of Basketball Operations and Head Coach – just like Thibs.
The list is seemingly endless, so let’s try to narrow down their wish list just a little bit. So we’ll give it a few parameters.
First, let’s limit anything on the wish list regarding players and/or their performance levels to those players who are currently in the NBA. It’s fine if they’re not a Chicago player, so if Gar Forman wants to sit in bed all day on Christmas hoping that LeBron James has traded himself to Chicago for Rajon Rondo and spare parts, that’s just fine. I mean, it seems like a thing Forman would do anyway.
Second, we’re going to make sure their wish list sticks within the general structure of the current rules and regulations of the NBA. So they can’t wish for a 35-second shot clock or the ability to play 6-on-5.
Next, no player duplication wishes. If we don’t lay down this law immediately, you know Forman or John Paxson or whichever member of the Reinsdorf family is actually “running” the Bulls is going to immediately wish for a roster comprised of Jimmy Butler and 14 Doug McDermotts. That should never happen.
Lastly, and this is pointed at us bloggers, writers, fans, observers, or anyone who just hates mediocre basketball teams – no wishing for new ownership. It’s what we all want, it’s probably what the team really needs, but it isn’t going to be an option here. Probably saving us from ourselves, with our luck we’d find the next Vivek Ranadive or James Dolan and no one needs that.